They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
