Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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