thus making me awesome and them whores
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You made out with two different species that night
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
