Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
