i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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