every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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