We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
