Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
