I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
