Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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