just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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