Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
