**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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