i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
