hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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