I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
