I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just cut my nipple shaving
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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