he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Randomize
