I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
