I think my vagina is haunted
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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