I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
