I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
