I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
