A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
