At least make sure they are 18
Why
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
