is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
