I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
