Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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