i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
