Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
