Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
