I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize