Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
