I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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