none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
