TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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