When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
