It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
