I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
