Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I need a beard to bite.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
