I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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