Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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