Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
