I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
