I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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