btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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