It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
accomplished twins. life is a go
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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