How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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