Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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