my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
