So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
