I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
