I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
