I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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